It's a lazy Friday morning as I write this. I'm finally done with the last book of the trilogy of the Hunger Games, and I'm listening to Coldplay's single, Fix You while mending my trepid heart. There are many words forming in my head. And, I suddenly feel the need to write it down...
Fate has been a little harsh to me for the past few days. These were the days where I feel sulk and lost. Frustration and loneliness has overtaken me. I was complaining more and more why do these things has to happen??? I hate to admit this, but, yes, I have doubted my faith to Him and His love for me. But who am I to complain anyway? If in the first place, He has given me more than enough blessings I have prayed for.
It's superficial how I measure His love for me through material things and success. Which often leads me to a never ending struggle to feel validated. I have linked my achievements to my self-worth. And, when insecurity and dissatisfaction sets in... I feel unworthy.
To cope with the emptiness I was feeling, I tried to re-connect myself with Him and while reading the bible, I stumbled upon this verse,
" No matter what happens, believe that all things will work for good to those who love Him." - Romans 8:28
Yes, things now may not go to the place where I planned it to be. But, I know, that He has the best reason why all of these has to happen.
Today, I will be honest when I say that there are still times when I feel dissatisfied. But, yes, I will no longer measure His love for me and my self-worth by my success, my material things because I know, how He has created me to become a blessing to other people, a cause of smile and a source of inspiration are enough proofs of His greatest love for me. :)
And, although I may not understand the path He has laid for me, I am surrendering myself completely to His will; Because I know, one day, I will be in the place where I am ought to be. All is well! :)
-Joy A. Señeres, RN (soon to be a Pediatric Cardiologist)
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