Sometimes, it frustrates me so much to think of ways on how
to deal with the complexity life has.
Do you know that feeling when you are all up and doing well
then suddenly, at one second, you’re already devastated / disappointed / depressed?
Planning has always been a part of my routine; perhaps I
even keep a planner where all my to-do’s and life-long plans are listed. But
when I see flaws in the plan that I made, I start to question the faith I have
in myself and my happiness.
Like when I plan to write my thoughts or draw out ideas what
I want to happen in my life. But when I start writing down the words, all the
formed ideas slowly fade and they lost somehow. Whenever I take pictures, as I
see my photo-subject on the view finder, it seemed that I already have the
perfect angle – good lighting, no further enhancement needed. But when I am already halfway clicking the
shutter, it perplexes me to shoot the image the way I envisioned it – perfectly
without any blurriness. And my hands get all shaky producing a blurry image - not
perfect at all.
Growing up, I have learned to train myself to always look at the brighter side of things – that there is a reason behind all those disappointments. It is like waking up on the wrong side of the bed yet I still managed to get up, trying to have a wonderful feeling knowing that no one will be responsible for my day, except myself. I sleep every single night hoping that tomorrow would be the day I can get up as confidently as I did on the other happy days. I have learned to look at life on a different perspective – that it does not have to be perfect, that life being not so organized and experiencing a little pain is what makes it just fine.
I think I am completely okay with this kind of plan.
This is when I get happy.
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