self, passion and dreams

I recently read Psalm 131.

Before, I viewed it as an encouragement to understand that mystery is one of the hallmarks of God’s character. Maybe, because I do not understand all that God is doing and it challenged me to let my mind be at rest.

Years ago, I’ve made a promise to be firm with my faith, that I will love and worship Him no matter what. But I guess, it is easier said than done…  True enough, bad things could happen.

Do you know that feeling when you’re all up and doing well and all of a sudden… you fall, you’re hurt, you’re disappointed.

Sometimes, I forget and get carried away with the meaning and mystery God wants me to see. I am unable to understand all that God is doing to me, and it is impossible to try.

I was complaining more and more, “Why this disappointment? Why this affliction?”  

In the said bible verse,  King David draws a comparison between a weaned child that no longer frets for what it once demanded, and a soul that has learned the same lesson (v.2).  

I contemplated, and asked myself, Can I, in my circumstances, hope in the Lord? Can I wait in faith and be patient without fretting and questioning God’s wisdom?

It reminded me how important the virtue of humility, patient endurance and contentment in all my life circumstances is. Though I do not understand God’s reasons, at the end of the day, I still choose to fall back on my knees again  – because I need Him and I love Him more than anything else.

"O Lord, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised so high; But I have calmed and quieted my soul."